So this is the first entry of November. My wireless has been cocked-up and I hadn't been online for quite some time. It's a good thing that it's fixed now and I decided to just write something for feed then.

There weather has been kind. I don't know know if I can conclude that Mid-November, Singapore has got good weather to sleep in and smoke cigarettes and coffee with, because I wasn't here last year at this time. I forgot if I ever took note of the weather for the the previous 4-coming-to-5 years here but that isn't the case I believe.

I've been silly today. Something struck on my head and I don't know why I allowed it to shake me a little when it shouldn't be at all. It sucks to be honest. I don't wanna think about the past and how it got me. I don't wanna know the unsaid leftovers by someone's doing to get me thinking after 2 years from its event. I don't even think I should seek for it when somehow it can make me feeling like shit. Fuck that please. Good Lord help me then.

I have not been much of someone who writes about life, about death, about other matured things or what. I just think most of the times, the motive that gets me here, writing, is because of love and its matter. Love and the heart-breaks. Love and the ups and downs. Love and how it takes me always, how it breaks me and how it makes me feel like the happiest person on Earth. I truly believe in love, in the kind of love that can break through and stay with me for the rest of my life. Now that I'm at it, I don't know if I can confidently say that this love is the same it used to be. Life has changed and its toll gets me. My relationship isn't the same with the way it was back in early 2008 or afterward. It fucking hurts me at times I'm so sad that those feelings are gone, those feelings that twinkle nose, the kind that makes me smile and hug myself in bed and thank God every single minutes it strikes me. Funny but it's so true.

It takes 2 to kiss. Takes 2 to clap, to build it on. I wish my bf will think of the beginning, and miss it and make me feel that same feeling. However, somehow deep down in me, I'm uncertain whether if he would ever do that. There are uncertainties I have of him, of us, and I'm so afraid that one day I can't hold them any longer.

But there is one thing I am never uncertain of, that is I love him. I love him so much that I think about other assholes, and I'm so glad I've found this right one. I hate to think that way, because it makes me look vulnerable. But I'm silly that way. That fucking stupid way.

For that, I'm going to continue reading my current book, Love Lives by Josie Lloyd & Emlyn Rees and hopefully I will finish it by tonight and move on to my other book that I bought from Vietnam. Don't have to doubt it, all my books are love-related. Yes, I'm helpless that way, you see? =/

Last but not least, I'm gonna start on my Wedding Planning Proposal for tomorrow, and I hope I'm gonna do a good job and get the cert with a graceful smile on my face. Good night people.