In my bed...
Friday, January 29, 2010
Because having an iTouch is so instant, or an iPhone for that matters, I can just lay in bed right now and blog.
First: My laptop is stupid because I kept losing my wireless connection. Hence it pisses me off.
Second: I decided that I just blog and perhaps get knocked out the next moment.
I felt fucked. Not literally obviously bit anyway that's not re point here. The point here is that I do not anticipate the idea of not being appreciated. I wonder how long can I feel appreciated and love again. Well even though I'm in love and more or less happy being in the relationship with my bf, but in the end of the day, I'm still a girl and a human, with a heart and desires and dreams and hopes and so many things else besides such.
I forgot how it was like to be loved and needed and I miss it. I'm sure somewhere inside him there's a spot for me with love. But where were those loving moments that we used to share? I miss the romance. The chase and the sweet-nothings.
I miss something about the old us which never seems to come back. But yeah, it's just something that I wish for. He rarely gets it. He's in the army. And we're young. It's just about life. It's not about the perfection that I want. It's sad sometimes. Like now, isn't it?
Boo. I feel pathetic when I told Allison:
"I forgot how it was like to be loved. I think I love him more than he does."
.........
