Have I made up my mind?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Just before I thought everything was almost alright, I was dead wrong. For one more time, there we were having good time and laughing and spending quality time, the same old thing happened. And this time I felt so bloody hurt that even in the cab, my heart was literally aching and leaping. It's not a good happy leap. It was the painful one, the one that lets you know it's sinking and it's not going away.
Now that it happened again, we fought over the damn old fucking reason, so I asked myself if I'm prepared to decide what's for the best this time. I have already given myself thoughts and told myself that the next time it happens, I shall do something good out of it so we both won't never have to fight about it again. However, now that it did, and it's so fucked-up when I know that I will be thinking of the way out now. I think it's almost time when enough is enough. And I'm so hurt that heart doesn't convince me any longer, and my heart doesn't tell me that I should fight and go on. I guess it's just too painful that my heart can't fight it no more.
This funny feeling is like having your heart ripped off and perhaps that part is already dying and fading away.. My heart has just died. And now it's just so dead. Reality sounds real as it does.....
Have I made up my mind?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Just before I thought everything was almost alright, I was dead wrong. For one more time, there we were having good time and laughing and spending quality time, the same old thing happened. And this time I felt so bloody hurt that even in the cab, my heart was literally aching and leaping. It's not a good happy leap. It was the painful one, the one that lets you know it's sinking and it's not going away.
Now that it happened again, we fought over the damn old fucking reason, so I asked myself if I'm prepared to decide what's for the best this time. I have already given myself thoughts and told myself that the next time it happens, I shall do something good out of it so we both won't never have to fight about it again. However, now that it did, and it's so fucked-up when I know that I will be thinking of the way out now. I think it's almost time when enough is enough. And I'm so hurt that heart doesn't convince me any longer, and my heart doesn't tell me that I should fight and go on. I guess it's just too painful that my heart can't fight it no more.
This funny feeling is like having your heart ripped off and perhaps that part is already dying and fading away.. My heart has just died. And now it's just so dead. Reality sounds real as it does.....
