According to Alcan, I've been asleep and now I am waking up.. I am still walking around idly, but I will be alright when I open my mind, my eyes and see the world with a better sight.

I finally can say that I am growing up, I finally say that I am trying my best to adapt to all the changes around me. Funnily, I can't seem to handle them too well, that I will have to admit. I really am going through a hard internal conflicts with my emotions.

I want to settle a lot of things to get over it.

According to Monica, and repeated by Rovye and Alcan, STOP EXPECTING!

According to me, Rosa, I am someone who allows myself to sink in expectations and disappointments. Yes, that is me. And I cannot blame anyone else but myself if I am crying tonight, because the reasons of the tears are mine, I cause them while I can choose not to them invade my heart, mind and soul.

I am waking up. I can say that for sure, and because of all these changes in my life: new people, new environment, new responsibilities- they make me realise that for all these whiles, I thought at least the world revolves around me.. once in awhile, but this time round: NO, the world revolves no man and no one. Those people and the changes reminded me that this stage of my life, I really gotta stop it all and live my life for myself. If things happen my way, it's a bonus, if things don't, I have my own power to turn the wheel around.

Tonight, I feel rejected from my expectations because things don't go my way like how they used to be. I feel like shit and I don't deny it. But I need to thank to all these changes, which lead to my wake-up call that maybe I will get myself out from this hole that's pulling me in.


I am a dreamer. I have dreams. But the sad part is, dreams come when you make 'em happen. But the sadder part is, to make 'em happen, you gotta make the right decisions. And now? I am not doing the right thing.

xoxo