Sometimes I'm afraid
Sunday, January 29, 2012
It's been such a crazy ride ever since this year started. First month is almost over now, yet it feels like forever already. I've gone through so much and i thought this year wouldn't turn out good given its bad start. I know I fear more this year, but at least I know I am getting ready to overcome them somehow. It feels like I can face them now and make a change and be a better person.
I thought I lost some, won some. But now I realize to me it's never enough since I am such a greedy person. However now that I know I have greed, I want more of what life gives me, I learn to hold what I have in hand so much more dearly. The fear of losing everything sends shiver down my spines every time without fail. However I told myself why sit there and fear, but not make a change if you want to? And it's not like I can't change, I choose to be wiser now. All those fears, all those walls surrounding tell me if they are not broken, my job isn't done. I know it's time to grow up, it's time to give up something for another greater thing. It's also time to stand back, and look at what I have and be thankful for it. The fears make me understand how much everything means to me, that's why the thought of it kills..let alone if it happens.
Sometimes I'm afraid, I give myself time to calm down and be patient. I might lose myself half way, but when I come back, when it finds its way back to me.. I know I have another chance to make it right all over.
Life will be bad. Life will go down when it has to, but I know the fear of losing you should never break me. Because if it does, it means I'm not doing it right.
Xoxo
