Past present tense?
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Out of sudden, after many years of no calls, no nothing, some - and many a few of my past favorite faces came crushing back into my life.
Good.
Bad.
I miss something about the old me. Sometimes I sit and I ponder if that freedom killed me or made me? Who am I today anyway? Who have I been? Who was I?
Suddenly I just feel this sense of wanting to go back there, when it was just me and my bottle of Jack, and many Moet as I poured myself silly, dancing all night, losing myself in many fives I could count. I'd then just wake up not remembering a thing and do it all again.
Good.
Bad.
And then out of sudden, I remember things I don't want to, or try to recall the past events just so I can create the memories and keep them somewhere in this current box.
Suddenly, that old song puts a smile on my face. That picture keeps me on edge.
I was so different.
I was so lost.
I was so happy.
I was so.... not me, today.
But the good thing is, something, something you just know. It is that simple. If it is, it is. If it's not, it's just not.
Just do it.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Intuition?
Remember when I just told you my intuition always has its
way to get to me. Sometimes I just know it, I think it but I don’t act on it. I
sense it yet I don’t ever speak about it.
I build on them and I live my sorrows off them.
And when it hits me, all I can ever say is ‘I knew it’, but
it may then be too late for all of us.
And we’ll go down in flames.
Every weekend we hitchhike to hell.
I hate to be wrong when I was this close to being right.
And if I had to be right, maybe a lesson to be learnt is
probably to always follow your guts.
Always follow the light, even when you think it’s not lit.
Follow your heart.
Tell them before it’s all too late.
Before we all go down in flames.
I should have just texted.
And now she’s back to intensive care. As I am boarding my
flight from home to home. Vietnam. Singapore. Stephen. My mum. His mum. Family.
Friends.
Why is this all happening to me again?
All over again.
When I thought we can slowly move on from here, things on a
brighter side, and all just crashes all over again.
Hold yourself together, Rosa.
You cannot lose yourself, again. Now.
21 Feb 2017, Ho Chi Minh, Tan San Nhat airport enroute Singapore.
8: 57am.
