Melt my heart to stone
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
It has been a year now since I let you go. As I sit here and beat myself up for that one decision I have made, half of me is eating up my whole being of knowing I am a cruel person. But the half knows that I had to do what I had to.
You could have been in this life, you could have been with me, but I knew I wasn't ready for you. I have made mistakes in my life, I don't want to say that you were one of those mistakes. You could be the best thing that would ever happen to me. You could change my life. You did. But you have made me a stronger person, you have made me bigger than us, than the idea and reality of us which I could only dream of - and maybe some day in my life I will make it come true.
Forgive me. Forgive me for me being the person I was, but know that I am the person that I am, and will be someone else better because of you. Forgive me for all of me, which wasn't meant to give to you.
I am feeling the pain, it pinches my heart as I think of you and the pain I felt when I was on that bed. But my heart, you have taken all of me that maybe there is nothing else could quite hurt me or kill as much as losing you.
Whatever it is, please know deep down, you know I will always want you.
In the memory of 22 April 2013, Vietnam.
