trosaa
I have stopped doing this.
But when I do,
I will write as I will.
I will write as I love.
And I will do as I live.
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December and heartbreaks.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Some people seem to love this festive season, the year is nearing. Probably because they're excited that something new is await for them, or maybe they're going home to family and loved ones. Or any sort of a warmth and then some. As of for me, this month marks my third month in Australia. To be honest, ever since I got here, besides the fact that my whole life has changed drastically, I've made myself in such a mess that I don't know how to get out from. I am now so caught up with the confusion, putting myself in a position of expecting and waiting on someone else, someone new. And I am fooled enough to not only do it once, but twice. It's like I never learn my lesson. I don't know why I am this stupid. Why can't God just kill me and set me free from my pain? Sometimes I wish He can just let me go and maybe I won't be too hurt. I miss feeling loved and touched. It's not that I've moved on completely and ready for something new. It's just my heart cannot take another fall even though I know it keeps on giving another chance at love, over and over again. Whether if it's just a tiny hope, I can see me being a lil more hopeful. And then boom, I'm caught up in this pool of my thoughts, dreams, infatuation, expectations and wishes and all the fuckedup shits that I'm sure you know what I mean. At times I wanna live in the moment. And I find myself waiting on an opportunity to seize it. I wanna say yes sometimes. I wanna do something new sometimes. I wanna just be free without thinking about the tomorrows for just that moment. And I thought I did, but somehow I was wrong. Because when I woke up the next day, what happened between us always seemed to trouble me. And this is crazier because looking into your eyes, I can feel it. But maybe I'm just a lil too hopeful for you, or even for myself. Yup you really got me now. You've had me at hello. And you've got me since that night. I wish you would do more. Cos I've tried too, to give the signs. But I guess you just don't wanna come my way. So until you realize it, show me something. Show me a sign so I can stop dreaming for you. Because before this year ends, I don't wanna have my heart broken again. That's how much of me left. Fuck. I really like you. Or?
About Me
Rosa Trinh Thu Raz.
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11/09/1992
Vietnamese-Filipino-Spanish
coffee&cigarettes
media&social
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fashions&dress-ups
fats&bones&skins
sometimes bipolar
December and heartbreaks.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Some people seem to love this festive season, the year is nearing. Probably because they're excited that something new is await for them, or maybe they're going home to family and loved ones. Or any sort of a warmth and then some. As of for me, this month marks my third month in Australia. To be honest, ever since I got here, besides the fact that my whole life has changed drastically, I've made myself in such a mess that I don't know how to get out from. I am now so caught up with the confusion, putting myself in a position of expecting and waiting on someone else, someone new. And I am fooled enough to not only do it once, but twice. It's like I never learn my lesson. I don't know why I am this stupid. Why can't God just kill me and set me free from my pain? Sometimes I wish He can just let me go and maybe I won't be too hurt. I miss feeling loved and touched. It's not that I've moved on completely and ready for something new. It's just my heart cannot take another fall even though I know it keeps on giving another chance at love, over and over again. Whether if it's just a tiny hope, I can see me being a lil more hopeful. And then boom, I'm caught up in this pool of my thoughts, dreams, infatuation, expectations and wishes and all the fuckedup shits that I'm sure you know what I mean. At times I wanna live in the moment. And I find myself waiting on an opportunity to seize it. I wanna say yes sometimes. I wanna do something new sometimes. I wanna just be free without thinking about the tomorrows for just that moment. And I thought I did, but somehow I was wrong. Because when I woke up the next day, what happened between us always seemed to trouble me. And this is crazier because looking into your eyes, I can feel it. But maybe I'm just a lil too hopeful for you, or even for myself. Yup you really got me now. You've had me at hello. And you've got me since that night. I wish you would do more. Cos I've tried too, to give the signs. But I guess you just don't wanna come my way. So until you realize it, show me something. Show me a sign so I can stop dreaming for you. Because before this year ends, I don't wanna have my heart broken again. That's how much of me left. Fuck. I really like you. Or?
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